Monday, December 30, 2013

Expansion of the god concept

A god concept can expand to fill the available space.
What am I saying?
Our god concept can define not just god,
but god's will for us, our way of thinking, of being,
of reacting to the various stimuli that we are faced with throughout life.

As I have stated,
my god is the sum of the natural forces that exist,
gravity, electromagnetic, and all those other physical and biological forces.
Science is largely a study of these forces,
and their products,
therefore I can say that the study of science is the study of god,
or at least study of my god.
We do not understand much, but we can observe,
and try to codify the forces,
becoming a written record of his laws of nature.

This matches with the stoics "live in accordance with nature",
and Socrates belief that "we cannot draw breath without god approving."
God and nature are one, forces and matter since E=mc2.
How do I get to superscript with this stupid editor?
That is to say, energy is force over time,
so mass and force is related over time,
so time must also be part of god.
God is all the stuff we do not understand yet,
and perhaps even some of the stuff that we do understand.

The sense of wonder, at the expanse of space,
the detail and colour in flowers,
in greens of nature, in winter weather, in life,
at the industry of man,
the technology we have developed,
should instil wonder and gratitude.
This can be our underlying feeling or emotion,
and all others just cover it,
so that when all the other emotions are gone,
we are returned to this wonder and gratitude.
That would make life nice, would it not?
Now how do we reset ourselves,
to spend any loose time in a state of wonder and gratitude?

But what do I know?
Be well, eat real food, breath deeply,
smile easily, and enjoy what life has to offer.


Sunday, December 29, 2013


And abstinence is the most important thing in my life today without exception.

So my food plan, diet, or what ever I call it is the most important thing in my life today. Really.
Without my food program I would be headed for the grave or more likely, an incinerator. Quickly. You see, if I did not follow it, I would be diabetic. My blood glucose is being entirely controlled to normal range by my diet. I would fail the glucose challenge. A nice baked potato will double my numbers. The next morning I could expect a 7 to 8. No thanks. My low carb plan works.

Step 1 is backwards

For me, step one looks backwards, some of the time. My life was unmanageable by me, and eating gave me relief. I made a conscious decision, at the suggestion of my parents that if I ate, I would grow and not be picked on. But I took it to far, and that did not help. The reason I was being picked on by the other kids was because my parents were frugal eccentrics, not just poor, and would not buy us kids decent close, but rather mother dressed me in her sowing, which were not that great. It was not until I refused to go to school that father bought me close. We can deal with harassment in a number of ways. One way is avoiding contact. By then, I was grossly obese, and remained that way, likely due to the insulin/leptin effects.

That experience was a "defining moment", more like several years, that had a major impact on shaping my life, and shaped my personality. I did not associate with anyone more than necessary. That trained me to be "low human contact need". I did not need friends, and was better by my self than with others. Mind you, by grade three, I was an attacker, so nobody wanted to be around me anyway. That did not mellow out much until I read "How to win friends and influence others" when I was 19 or so.

Now that I understand the overfeed / insulin / leptin issue, the physical part of the overeating problem, and take the appropriate measures, as much as I can, it is possible to see the personality issues. These likely developed as defence. That is why it is so critical to give up overeating before the program can really work. But coming to have a concept of god is the next step. Once we have a concept of god, or in my case a definition of god (ignostic, we have something to lever off to obtain more motivation. We humans try to do right, and to follow the "will of natural laws" is going with the flow. Then we need to clean up the past and fix up old relationships that need to be fixed, and continue this into the future.

So you frugal minimalists, eccentrics, religious freaks, control freaks, fear mongers, irrationals, and the like, what effect is your life style having on your children? I survived (gratitude for), but how well? Some do not survive. Oh, well.

But what do I know? Be well, eat real food, breath deeply, smile easily, and enjoy what life has to offer.

Friday, December 27, 2013

So why do I want to use?

So why do I want to use food, why do I crave?

It was long my habit to use food as a stress or anxiety relief.
So having reduce the food greatly,
now what do I need to do to relieve those stresses and anxiety?

OA does not have a real answer beyond obsess about the program,
and use the social aspects of the program as relief.

It is the social portion that gives me stresses and anxiety.
Treat the cause of my anxiety with more of the cause?
Not a real solution, but a religious one, that is
hoping that god will provide an answer.

What is it about my exchanges with with people
that causes me so much grief and anxiety, agitation, dissatisfaction?
Nobody ever understands what I say,
oh well, it is better to understand than be understood.

So I know the solution to your problem is Epictetus,
and some things are within our power, and some things are not.

Just because someone expects us to control
that which is not within my power
does not mean that I have an issue,
but rather it means that your expectations are goofy.

Buddha, Dao, and the Stoic all agree. It is your problem, not mine.
So how, besides apathy, am I suppose to deal with your bullshit?

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

The Problem

The problem of giving up eating is that now we need to find a replacement method of dealing with the stress, anxiety, time related issue, or what ever the reason we were eating to start with. The real difficulty is figuring out the reason to start with. That is what is not being addressed in any of the programs, especially is the reason is stress refeed, an natural condition that exists after the stress has dissipated.

Some people use exercise. If exercise causes pain/discomfort/additional stress, it is not a suitable choice, it will not happen. There in is the crux of the problem, stop an effective method of treatment because of the side effect (weight gain) and not have a replacement for the effective method of treatment.

I will suggest that the real problem is life has become to stressful for the human genome, or at least some of the genome. There are those with no caring values, socio-paths, that do not have issues, and the Spock likes, but what about the remainder of humanoids with emotions?

Then there is apathy. Apathy is the condition of just not caring. It can be behavioural. We just stop caring about something that is beyond our power to do something about and is unpleasant or distressing to us. It is common method of dealing. We are trapped and nobody else cares enough to do anything about it. One way is to develop apathy for whatever, ourselves. Now What, if we do not even care about ourselves ...

Oh well. Be well, breath deeply, smile easily, and enjoy what life has to offer. Daoish.

Friday, December 20, 2013

Long term abstinence

Long term abstinence is one of those popular subjects that needs frequent airing.
After all my years of listening, to this I will say:

1. rigorous honesty, as a necessary virtue, this should extend beyond food to our life in general. There is a major gap between rigorous honesty and expediency level, which many of us lived on (note past tense).
2. reverence for the program, and recovery
3. holding abstinence as sacred or as stewardship of the body.
    I was entrusted with this body to look after it. It also helps to have a clear but flexible definition(s) of abstinence, perhaps even overkill. No sugar, no ground grains, no omega 6 rich oils, no processed foods, three moderate meals per day at home plus a fruit or two if needed... generally, and as close as practical away from home, and long days. Aim for perhaps 90% or more, aka 19 of 21 meals per week, unless you are a 19 or 20 meals per week type.

4. one day at a time, frequent contact with indwelling god concept,
    AM, before and after each meal, PM, (stoic frequency, 8/day)
5. spiritual development, extending far beyond coming to believe,
    to the point that god is real as any object,

and here are some mps on this subject:

I do venture into other camps as reconnaissance, not as considering defection. This is from the hard ass bunch that split of OA, because OA would not follow them, but their program does work for some.

They were the tough love group at one time.

Be well, breath deeply, smile easily, and enjoy what life has to offer. Daoish, or Epicurean.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

What am I (Philosophish)

What am I? is a question that comes up as a result of introspection. It need to be answered, much like what is god? The answer is personal, no right or wrong, but possible a correct on not quite correct answer.

I is singular. It cannot be divided. It is the essence of me. Tolle struggled with this in his "I cannot live with myself";  Dante struggled with reality in his "I think therefore I am"; Epictetus resolved it to his mind, that which he had control over. In this way his body became unimportant to him, desirable but not within his absolute control. Kiss your own mortal ass goodbye, and go with god's plan, the non-plan, fate, fortune, destiny, what happens happens. Make it the best we can, live with virtue and nature, but without concern for self.

It seems that, in the modern human thought, the body us included. Yet this leads to problems in the psyche. So the body is out, as is the physical brain, but the mind and consciousness are still in contention. But what is the mind; not the physical structure, not the chemical reactions, not the synapses firing, not memory's, but more intangible than that, the energy of thoughts, not just memory. Memory is diluted with time, and dilutes with more time. I is timeless, it is instantaneous energy, a biological force of some kind, with its own rules of conduct, rules of being. Being a biological force, and with god defined as the sum of all forces, it is a bit of god. Energy is force acting over time.

Just as the body has it's rules, the consciousness underlies language, it is awareness, but not a physical thing, but sit on top the physical cell structure. Is this the intent of the buddhist concept of no-self, the non-existence of self, that there is no physical self, just a concept, a soul, an energy, a no-self? It does what it does. Acceptance is required. Just as the body obeys a unknown set of rules for us to discover, the self does the same.

Be well, breath, smile, and enjoy what life offers. Daoish.

Friday, December 13, 2013

Sponsorship 2

The purpose of sponsorship is to help us through the program. This requires that we pass through a series of attitudes. First, we need to accept that willpower is not the solution to our problem. It may be part. As Harold said, "if we pray for potatoes, we must be willing to pick up the hoe." but more the other way; We must not will ourselves to eat, for any reason. We need to recognise that our life is not manageable by us, indeed, my unmanageable life likely lead to my overeating.

Second, we need to have a form of god concept, where god is real to us, as real as the table on which this computer sits. Subservient to that, I need to let go of my ego, surrender to following god's will for me, and develop some humility. The organism must adapt to it's environment, not just adapt it's environment. There are many things that I do not know how to deal with, and until I learn a method for each of those, I must accept surrender.

God is the sum of the forces that act in the world, and on me. This includes internal biological forces. It is those internal biological forces that drive me to eat, and these must be ignored. That is the problem, the forces are always there. Some are internally generated and it is these internally generated forces that we have some influence over, and some influence over my behaviours. It is the not answering the craving/ desire to eat behaviour that is required.

The cravings are generally present. That is much of my problem. Some people say the cravings go away. I say, not my experience. Some of the craving is physical, and these I definitely need to avoid, hence my low carb diet. It is likely hyperinsulinemia / insulin overshot / insulin resistance / one of those insulin issues, but the doctor does not want to do the insulin level test because "then what do we do?" Dumb asshole. Oh well.

One of the drivers to food is stress / anxiety / emotional issues / all similar. Now I know that other people think differently, and understanding how other think could provide a method of removing / eliminating those issues. The old stoics have been useful for many idea, and much is no longer a problem. "Who's problem is it?" also helps. Knowing that I must adapt to the environment also helps. Acceptance is the final or first alternative, but acceptance is a coping method, not a solution.

More to come

Wednesday, December 11, 2013


What do I need from a sponsor? It is my "expectations" that I need to look at first.

This reminds me of a question from Kelsi's OA phone outreach script....   Do you want feedback or do you just want me to listen?

First the just listen part; I can write whatever in one of my blogs, that way it has been said, and someone may or could read it. Next, that also serves my heritage method of keeping my own council; no one ever comments much. Writing and editing gets rid of much garbage and sorts it out in my mind. That alone helps. This requires no sponsor involvement.

Now the feedback part: I cannot expect anything but "program", although other stuff may come. It is the "expect" that is the operative word here. Sponsors are just people who have overcome this problem, similar to the one I have. It may not even be the same problem. OA is "just" a management of the chronic problem method, it is not a real solution.

Compulsion, obsession, food addiction, binge eating, food addiction, hyperinsulinemia, emotion stress refeeding, conditioned hypereating, lack of food knowledge, lack of satiation response, lack of leptin or leptin blocking, etc. are all those defined terms that have solutions or requirements. Some day, there may be a real solution for the remainder of my problem. Yes, I do over analysis, but some of the solution is physical.

Now the main problem I have here is that my memory is going, not what it once was, oh well. So when I write and do what editing that I can, many things become more obvious. That forces searching my memory for answers first. I was trained to look up the answers in books. Many years of engineering, where all the historical methods can still be used when no modern methods are available has taught me a few things. OA, AA has many books, as does Hazelden, Smart, and the internet, any of which can provide a possible solutions. I was raised to be self-sufficient. That is my process, research then ask a sponsor.

There are those who's "process" or first reaction is to talk to a sponsor, I am not saying they are wrong, but that is not my way. I also note that my belief system does not require others to believe as I do.

I have developed a belief in a god definition that meets all the requirements and must be true. Most of the time, I have a concept of god's will for me. So what is my problem? Next post...

Virtue vs Sugar

Sugar and its components, taken separately, are evils. Sustained use causes obesity, diabetes, addiction, and other issues. That is a separate topic. Sugar, along with artificial sweeteners, cause a "need for sweetness" in our palate, which is one of the contributing factors to addiction. It causes a depletion in serotonin, the hope, happiness and optimism endorphin. Not good for many of us.

Now that we know that this evil chemical should not be within our food supply, how do we deal with drug dealers who push these noxious substances? Well one thing is to stay away from them. We boucot there producers in many forms. We can also express our disuse of those chemicals, even when some grannie "slaved over a hot stove" to produce them. "Sugar raises my blood glucose to dangerous levels and turns me into a real asshole.", and most stopped pushing.

Now how to deal with the sugar gifts? Throw it in the garbage. It is ethically wrong for me to give poison to other people, when I know it is a poison. That makes it ethically wrong, period. Refuse to take it, if I am out and it is pushed onto me. I have explain this to anyone who pushes it on me. Most only do it once.

It is the virtue of ethics that provides tranquility of not having to deal with issues repeatedly. But using ethics and virtues as a defence is an old stoic method. Oh well. Be well. Breath, smile, and enjoy what life has to offer is the minimum I need to do. Dao.    

Friday, December 6, 2013

Personality changes

Personality changes may be the desired undertaking, but along with examining our beliefs and values, our behaviours, our relationships, and our characteristics come some unexpected results. We need to accept that our thoughts, beliefs, values, behaviours, feelings, emotions, philosophy and the like are all tied together. Change one, and other things change. Now if we are trying to induce a personality change sufficient to bring about an end to the overeating, is there a down side.

Well maybe. When we start to pull that string, we do not know what will unravel. Our environment has been built up around us and our likes and dislikes, our ability and interests. These may change, and as a result our environment may also change or need to change. Environment here is used to describe things beyond out physical environment, it also must include our involvement with people, organisations, and identities. Yes, even our own identity can change.

In our youth we had a self concept or a personal identity. We modified it through education and we became young workers. Through jobs, careers, or callings we found ideally a mature identity. Now some of us need to rework this into a senior identity, along with additional recovery to keep the overeating in its's place. I am not fully recovered, few seldom are, but I have come a long way toward a much better life.

Coming to know what I beleive and know what I do not beleive has freed me from a lot of ideas that were just wrong. Knowing the boundary between myself and the world that I have no control over has freed me to study what I have control over, and to not care about what I have no control over. Now what I do as a result of this new found freedom in another issue.

Be well, breath, smile, and enjoy what life has to offer. Dao.      

Link christian vs stoics; stoics 1, christians 0.

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Personality Change Reminder

The purpose of the program is to induce a personality change sufficient to bring about an end to overeating. It does not say anything about being a more pleasant personality, or better, or more personable, just sufficient to bring an end to the overeating.
Ref BB 569.

When we stop practicing the characteristic that contribute to the problem, like agreeing to consume sugar and acellular carbohydrate products (flours), seed oils (lubricants) , and other manufactured edible products, whether manufactured in a industrial or some grannies kitchen, we may step on others feelings. Oh well. They just want to pass out their form of love. Too bad. Those are simply not food to me. I will not consume them, regardless of what grannie thinks. (someones, not mine). Anyone pushing those do not have the best interest of me, or humanity in general, as their prime directive.

The prime directive is do not interfere with other species and cultures. I am of a no sugar, no acellular carbohydrate culture. These are not foods, but poisons, dose dependent poisons.

But what do I know? My belief system does not require that you beleive as I do. Be well, breath, smile and enjoy what life has to offer. Dao.  

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Determination to Recover

One more essential of recovery emerged, and that is a determination to recover, no matter if it kills us in the process. It is that dogged determination that will get us through when the way becomes obscured, often through random noise and/or blind canyons, or those paths that lead nowhere or backwards to the old path, or to slippery slope, slip, slide, relapse through sliver to slice to slab to slob. It is bulldog determination that gets us past disappointments, setbacks, errors, misguided advise, emotional upsets, crushed expectations, thwarted desires, flat spots in our thinking and inaction, or overreaction.

The cause of overeating is often poor adjustment to life, resulting in a conditioned in habit, that first we must recognize, overcome the habit and then overcome the poor adjustment. That is not saying that the conditions that lead to poor adjustment do not still remain, or that there is a reasonable solution. Other factors, love (strongly liking) of food, unwilling to give up foods, conditioned hyper-eating, food addiction, eating disorders, chemical and behavioral addictions, and the like also play a role in overeating. Living in a food rich environment is one of the worst for us.

If we were concerned about something, and it was the inability to rationalize the solution with reality that was the problem, we can either rationalize the problem or just stop caring. When the PHD's cannot agree, what can us less trained underlings do? What is a proper diet? I do not know. Something like before man started to manufacture food for sure; before we started to control climate, to have year around fresh fruits, to concentrate flavors, and concentrate sugars.

It is bringing my will in line with reality that is the issue. Uninterested in doing anything is not a suitable attitude for retirement. Fully understanding the human weight regulation system is a noble undertaking with many potential pitfalls and wrong pathways, depending on where we start. Yet, we can say, without any doubt, that we like sugar better than satiation or satiety or hunger.

Be well. Breath, smile and enjoy what life has to offer. Ignore the remainder. Dao.  

Monday, December 2, 2013

Essentials of Recovery

Tuesday Dec 3, we will be having a group discussion meeting on the Essentials of Recovery, 7.30 at Tim Hortins, Ellerslie road and Parsons road.

Now to think about what is essential. To me, there is a realization that I need help, and the problem extends into life, and the causes of over consumption at the root level, anxiety, lack of direction in life. aka step 1.

There is a requirement to really beleive in a power outside of myself, even if that power is nature, and beleive strongly enough to say it is real.  There is the realization that nature will have its way, regardless. We can go along willingly or go along struggling. I have a choice, to follow "god's will" or to follow mine, or to bring my will inline with god's will and go peacefully into the unknown future. aka 2&3.

Reminds me of a story about a dog tied to a horse drawn cart.
The dog is obliged to go where ever the cart goes,
but he can go willingly or resisting.
We can chose within the length of our tether,
and we always live the consequences of our choice.
We have little choice in that.

And whether that cart go, there go I.


Change our thinking; change us.

Sunday, December 1, 2013

What can we expect from OA?

A newcomer asked what can they receive from OA?

The answer is not straightforward, but something like recovery. First they need to accept step 1 and step two, then step three and recovery can start.

But what does that mean. You need to recognise that you have a problem with food, and a living problem, namely that you are unable to follow or stay on a reasonable food program. Next you must come to beleive in a power outside yourself, even if that power is your human nature. You then must becoming willing to follow directions, that of the power outside yourself. Then you must do the work to follow the will of the power outside yourself.

Lets say that is a power we will call god. As an ignostic, I will define god as the natural forces of the universe, and of biology. I can chose to follow god's will or my own. Are cravings my will or god's? Mine? Ok, well what do I do?  If I beleive in this god, then I have little choice but to follow gods will. If I do not, then I can do as I please. It is that simple of choice; gods will or mine.

We obtain motivation by levering off our beliefs. If god is real, and we are willing to follow his will, then, logically, a reasonable food program should be followed.

God has become the sum of all natural forces acting on me. The evil persons suggesting that should eat are not "god's will" but the opposite, evil.