Friday, November 29, 2013

Which came first?

Which came first? The psychological issues or the obesity?

IF we remove the resultant, the problem still remains. I was likely driven to obesity through not being able to deal with life, anxieties, and all that other shit. So no wonder I struggle, I need to learn to deal rationally to an irrational situation.

Powerless over food does not mean helplessness. I have a choice. Eat or not eat toxic foods. Once I start, I have little realistic choice beyond eat until I can stop. It is not compulsion that drives me but my mind, the obsession.

But I do not need to start. That is the choice. But then I must learn to deal with the psychological problem, what ever that is that is driving me to the food or that I am using food to escape, avoid, or defer from.

Writing / talking is one solution for understanding / determining that problem / issue / situation that is bothering me. After determining it, then, I need a solution. Keeping in mind Stoic principles: it is not the situation, but my thinking that causes the problem; within who's control is it: life is what it is; Zeno's rules, etc. Now what is the rational response to an irrational situation? Not to eat anymore.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Processes of change

One of the processes of change is the space to express one's self, where it might be heard, or has that potential at least. It is part of dramatic relief and/or one of those other 9 or ten processes.

But there is a piece missing, that is a clear understanding of what change will look like, or what part of us is to actually change. This may take the form of a new self image, or a goal or concept. A new self image can be developed through effort to understand others and myself.

It is impossible for me to willingly change until I know what I want to change into, or at least what characteristics need to be changed to match god's will, or more precisely, my view of god's will. After we stop practicing our bad characteristics, (steps 5&6), some of us have space to practice some good ones.

Some of us have mental blocks in our leaky carbon based minds, resistance to some things, or extreme willingness to do other things. Our minds have been trained that way. I see defects in products, bad actors on the roads, things that could be better. Tetris effect. I see what I have been trained to look for. Trained by my father, by my education, my 40 years of work, and by life. Now I must learn to compartmentalize my life to see gratitude, beauty, compassion, joy, optimums, fortitude, wisdom, justice, and all those positive attitudes and allow those negative characteristics, critical observation, failures, risky behaviors and the like to sit unused during my social times.

Nature promises us biological parents, not good parents, or even present parents, just biological parents. My father tried to motivate by moving the goal posts, carrot but no taste. And criticism and ridicule, and condemnation, and comparison where I always came up short. That was his issues, and had to leave. Such was life. I see those characteristics in myself, and have tried to not practice them. The new self must employ better treatment of others.

Enough already. All I really need do is breath, smile and enjoy what life has to offer. Dao.

Monday, November 25, 2013

Deprivation vs Willingness

It was quite common for me to feel deprived when offered sweet tasting poisons when I was on a diet, and in the early days of the program. Today I understand that there are many poisons; manufactured edible products, sugar, wheat, chocolate, some dairy products. From these I now abstain.  From many other food products, I must practice moderation, and moderation is not an OA term, but it is reality.

The big change is in the spirit, the willingness to follow a food program for today. It is a daily reset. Just for today. The daily reset allows me to live without a feeling of deprivation. This is helped along with the realization that food companies produce addicting edible products, which are not good for us, low grade poisons, but are just addicting to increase sales. Poison is in the doseage, but the addictive characteristic of the food makes it poison. Just look at the stats of the US, 35% of the population obese.

It is in the cleaning and clarifying of the beliefs that recovery came to me.

The contra is also true; those who want to lose weight, but are unwilling to give sugar, chocolate, flour; their bodys way, obeying the laws of the universe, always has its way. There is a solution when we recognise the body is subservient to the spirit, and the mind a servant of the body, contrary to popular opinion. The spirit here, is the knowledge/faith - beliefs - values - habit - conditioned - unconscious part of the physical brain.  

There is a effect, known as Pygmalion Effect, in which leader of a group of people can influence the production by his attitude. We can learn to induce this effect in ourselves, for our own benefit, by influencing our own attitudes, values, beliefs and opinions. This is one of the many things that OA can provide.

Keep coming back. Breath, smile and enjoy what life has to offer.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Who Cares?

What is the ultimate requirement of recovery?

  1. a belief that we can recover
  2. a belief that life is worth recovering
  3. a belief in a power outside of ourselves, at least knowing what we believe
  4. a belief that following a food program is part of recovery 
  5. the willingness to follow a reasonable food program
  6. a suitable food program 
How much we clean up the past and relationships, how much we change and learn is all irrelevant to our food issue recovery, in my opinion. We can hid in meetings also, but, the science is clear to me:

In my case, unmanageable life, insane parental expectations and matching self driven expectations, produced uncontrollable stressors contributed to the first stress refeeding with carbohydrates, which resulted in conditioned overeating, an unconscious physiological response. This resulted in a desire to eat when faced with any stressors and the availability of food, and that turned into obsession. Nothing to do with compulsion. So why would I say I am a compulsive overeater?

We know that high insulin from eating carbohydrates blocks leptin signaling, blocks satiation and satiety signaling. That is the physiological fact as one of the roots of this issue. Obsession is the unconscious mind trying to "solve the problem as it always has". It is changing that method of solution that is at the heart of the problem. We can do this by changing our belief system, and giving our brain something else to obsess about.

Today, in the meeting, I saw four strong unyielding personalities in action. Perseverance, yes but stubborn holding on, not so good, but we all need to change but to what?

But who cares and what do I know. Breath, smile, and enjoy what life has to offer. Dao.

Any opinions?

Saturday, November 23, 2013

God 2.0

My concept of god/ no god has changed again. It has become real but non-traditional. Traditional gods are still unreal concepts to me.

If a god existed, the identity would have created all matter and all forces that exist. Although we know that there is nothing that created it, the forces still exist. It is the sum of the forces that could be considered to be god, we cannot see them, yet we know they exist. It is the forces that makes matter solid. That allows one to knock on a table and be able to say that my god is as real as this table.

Zeon 2. states: the unity of all; all gods, all substances, all virtues, all mankind, into a Cosmopolis.

Is this what he meant?  We are all part of god? What about our thoughs?

This concept is definitely a power outside of myself that is real, and I can beleive in, for I know it is real. It is incapable of doing anything but what the forces have always done. Of course, the law that describe the forces all apply. Grass still grows, cows still make milk, bacteria convert that to cheese, wool still grows and provides us warmth. OK, stoics enough.

God is still powerless to act, except as it always has and will, through natural occurrences. So what is prayer, other than self expression. But one of the 10 processes of change is self expression. Is that what it is all about? The continual change of self to fit the world. Insulin still blocks leptin signaling, and I need to compensate for that with low carb; I need to keep busy as well to avoid the obsession. Is recovery that simple and exhausting?

For recovery we need a food plan, a god, and the willingness to follow god's will, which should include the food plan and a balanced life. But god wills or permits anything.

But what do I know? Breath, smile, and enjoy what life has to offer. Dao.  Comments, ideas, anyone?

Wednesday, November 20, 2013


Expectations are something we place on ourselves, although many of us try to live up to our understanding of the expectations of others. It may be our understanding that is out to lunch, or will be presented as such if/when problems arise in business. No one else will take responsibility for our actions, even when we are given wrong directions it seems. Oh well, that is life.

All situations can be divided into three groups of responsibility, mine, others, and god, for the lack of another name. It is only that which is in my control, namely my judgements, opinions and some violations that I have control over. I have influence over others, but without "control" am I responsible. In the real world, other people seem to think so, but they have their own part to play.  Responsibility without control, OK. In the real world, we have responsibility without absolute control. That seems unjust, and is unjust, but it is what we are forced into due to social contract.

When we were few people, big spaces, and less mechanization, it may have been reasonable, but now with people everywhere, crowded, congested space is it reasonable? Is this why the social contract is breaking down? Is this why the concept of social contract is so foreign to many? Mind you, anyone coming from the third world needs to learn about the concept of social contract. It need to talked about with respect to traffic a bit more.

Expectations that other will drive in a legal manner is reasonable, I think, but the reality is that they do not, and as such, I must drive defensively, and watch out for idiots and learn to deal with aggressives, bumper sitters, road slugs, and all those others. Of course, they must know what legal and respectful driving is. But the world has about 17% sociopaths and psychopaths, a 17 percent saints, so 2/3 of the world are between these outlying groups. Such is modern life.

There are too those that will not accept any responsibility, even when it is clearly theirs by our social contract and totally within their control. Integrity is one of those items, which is under constant erosion. Integrity has costs; relative to less integrity. But loss of integrity also cost to us, so there needs to a cost benefit analysis both ways, cost and benefits with high integrity, and with low integrity. consider also the time frame of each cost and benefit.

Enough already. What do I know? The minimum action required for a good life is to breath, smile and enjoy what life has to offer.    

Monday, November 18, 2013


The necessities of recovery are, a suitable food program, a belief in a "god" to lever motivation and confidence off, that same confidence and motivation, a knowledge of "gods will" and the ability to bring our will into line with "gods"

Now as a nontheist, I recognise that "god" is just a handle for whatever we believe. Some force of physics created matter, and this universe, and what ever that is is my "god". This makes "god" real. We study the real world to understand and create rules that describe small aspects of the physical world. I can say I have been trying to understand "god's ways" all my life, but never considered engineering to be "god's ways", but using the term for the sum of all, all matter, all processes, all biology, makes us part of god, but we have free thought, as long as we go along with god's will for us. But this is what Zeno said.

Without evil and destruction there would be no insurance industry, without sickness there would be no medicine, (except statins). We need these thing to struggle against, (as a Bridge over the River Kawi), we need work. The new evil is obesity in it many forms and causes.

When we have a god that we know is right, that is know beyond just believe, we can easily have confidence and commitment to do the right thing, which we can term god's will. It is easy to do what we believe is right. That is one of the essential concepts behind the steps.

Once we have a god in place, we need to come to know his will, and bring our will into line with his. We need to sort his responsibility and as " shoemaker, stick to our own last". Epictetus defines our responsibility, our opinions, accents, judgements, desires, violations, impulses, aversions, and our mental faculties in general. Likely we can include choices, our intentions, violations, speech, and livelihood, effort, mindfulness, concentration, possible knowledge. These are ours, all else is up to others or god.

But what do I know. Breath, smile, and enjoy what life has to offer. Dao.  

Monday, November 11, 2013

Hyperpalatable - addictive

Definition::                          : the ability of a food to stimulate an intense desire for more.

What word best fits this definition?

This is essentially the definition of both hyperpalatable and addictive food. So we know how to make hyperpalatable, and hence we know what is chemically addictive, not just a "trigger" food. Not only is it a food but also an amount of normal palatable carbohydrate.

Obesity and Metabolic Syndrome are the result of chemical addiction to processed foods. Until you all understand and accept that, the problem will continue. It is not just industry that produces processed foods. Grannies, good cooks, and food addicts all have the capacity.

We have the capacity, in the modern kitchen, to produce hyperpalatable foods. These are the problem. Just take flour, and flavor, sugar, seed oil. Or a bit of protein, carbohydrate, or fat or any vector, add wheat flour, sugar, flavors, fats, and what do we have? Hyperpalatable food.
The definition of hyperpalatable are foods that stimulate the desire for more... which is the definition of addictive foods.

This video is worth the watch for the processes:  

But what do I know. Breath, smile and enjoy what life offers. Dao.

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Moderation, the suckers game

Moderation of poison eating is not logical. Neither is consuming of some of the foods that drive us to eat more, overeat. It is chemical, eat and want more. Eat these processed food and have an intense desire, craving, grasping for more. This is the definition of powerlessness as in step 1. It is not logical to eat these, if we are trying to not overeat. It seems all those preaching moderation for food addicts, or other forms of conditioned hypereating, emotional stress relief eating (stress refeed) have food production backed funding. How about that?

So I went looking if the same holds true in the alcoholic world and guess what? It is, the moderation rehabilitation seem to be partly funded by the alcohol industry.

So what about weight watchers? owned by kraft? It works, as long as one is able to stay on the program. As our weight goes down, the amount of fat available for release becomes in short supply. Visceral fat is released 1.5 times faster than subcutaneous fat, and what happens when it is gone? The diet no longer satisfies, and we will overeat. It is high insulin producing diet, so soon you will abandon and be overeating, having entered the carbohydrate - high insulin - fat storage - leptin deficient due to insulin displacement - premature hunger - cycle. After you gain some visceral fat, you can again go back on the diet, and lose the visceral fat, but of course, each cycle yoyo will go higher, because the subcutaneous is not coming off as fast. Visceral results faster from fructose while subcutaneous requires more insulin and glucose. Kraft built customers, both gaining and losing.

And who owns Jenny Craig?

The simple solution is real food only, Primal, Paleo, LCHF, Low-carb Paleo, 19th Century Peasant, Real Food Plan, PHD, Mediterranean, or whatever.  No processed foods, sugars, flours, seed oils.

Added later:

Obesity is the result of chemical addiction to processed foods. Until you all understand and accept that, the problem will continue.
It is not just industry that produces processed foods. Grannies, good cooks, and food addicts all have the capacity.

We have the capacity, in the modern kitchen, to produce hyperpalatable foods. These are the problem. Just take flour, and flavor, sugar, seed oil. Or a bit of protein or fat, add wheat flour, sugar, flavors, fats, and what do we have? Hyperpalatable food.
The definition of hyperpalatable are foods that stimulate the desire for more... which is the definition of addictive foods.

But what do I know? Breath, smile and enjoy what life has to offer. Dao.

Saturday, November 9, 2013

The processes of change

The processes of change are lumped into 10 categories, yet looking back on my changes, it is not obvious how some of the major items fit into the ten processes, yet on the other hand, I do not see how anything would not fit. The list is so general that it is difficult to go from the list to figuring out the required action. The list is as follows:

Consciousness Raising

Dramatic Relief

Environmental Reevaluation

Social Liberation


Stimulus Control

Helping Relationships

Counter Conditioning

Reinforcement Management


I think that I need to describe all the things in my life that have changed.

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Life Balance

SMART have a tool -- Life Balance

In my life today, I do not have enough that I must do, to keep me out of trouble. I have spare time on my hands. It is not that I have nothing to do; rather, there is nothing that I want to do with the urgency to compel action. Such is my semi-retirement.

Lack of the sense of urgency of action is something less than boredom, and a new... well relative rare feeling to experience in such volume. It is not boredom; for boredom is lack of interest in the world; or that feeling of this same old pile of shit one more time feeling. That "same old shit" feeling, or the "here we go again", that I would get when, once again, landscaping drained water to a house with water problems, or the big trees adjacent to a foundation sucking out the water from high plastic clays. Yet that has elements of both boredom, "repetition fatigue", and lack of urgency.

On the 2x2 decision matrix, importance on the ordinate and urgency on the abscissa, it is not important and not urgent, that useless quaterent, that could be labeled "next" or "get on with life", yet there is nothing that I would like to do. This is a dangerous place. As George Eastman put it (in his suicide note), "my work here is done. The company is in good hands, and all my ideas have been explored"(or something like that).

There is many thing wrong with this world that are beyond my influence, but what can I do? Scream, beg or plead? It falls on deaf ears, on ears who do not give a damn, on the wage slaves, on the committed to a concept, even when the concept is wrong. It is difficult to convince a man of something when his paycheck depends on him not understanding a simple concept. 

One of the processes required in change, (5 stages, 10 processes), is the opportunity to vent, and these blogs provide such a place.

What do I know? Breath, smile, and enjoy what life has to offer. Dao.

Monday, November 4, 2013

Small Meetings

First, my own recovery, maintaining my recovery, and my spiritual/philosophical development is of primary importance, not supporting OA, or a meeting that is not helping. OA is not high on my list of priorities. Unless OA is helping me, I will not care about your meeting and/or program. This must be the starting point.

You must have recovery before you can spread it, and with food/weight issues, time is required. I have eaten meals with some of these "compulsive", claiming to be in recovery, but if they are in recovery... what were they before?

Secondly, I am a man, so my opinion instantly meet opposition from some of the ladies. I just let it slide, since I know my recovery, and trying to change one of  those control freaks |(wild emotional personalities) is beyond my pay grade or place.

Small meetings are one issue, but how is the recovery of the core group? Weak meeting with no recovery, meeting run by a 450 pound control freaks, meetings with no recovery, meetings with just dumping, meetings without a space (space is not open), meetings with no format, and in a noisy environment... Any meeting of this sort are just a waste of time. Do not expect even a long timer to keep coming back?

I have a choice of  six OA meetings, FA in Recovery and SMART to choose from. In addition, TOPs. There is also HOW, FAA, OA+, and all those others online. The program must garner market share or it will die.When there is a control freak in the group, we will live within her "permitted" activities, topics, and meeting formats. There is no other reasonable choice.

Meetings that follow very tight formats are ok some of the time, but I have learned much more in coffee before and after than I ever learned in the meetings. Meetings that just follow a 12 and 12 format
study are fine the first few times, but then?

The best meetings are the storey meetings, where the topic is usually not one of the routine topics, steps, or traditions. But then along comes control freak and.........

The easy way to solve a meeting problem is to stop attending. That is happens a lot. Meetings need to stay fairly small to develop recovery in depth. Also, no rational person will go up against a problem personality who wants to keep coming, and does not recognise that they are the problem personality.

My solution is his blog circle you have just entered. You may become part, just join and read, start you own, whatever.

But what do I know. My tranquility is paramount to me.

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Is it all palatability?

As noted in my other blog, I have been exploring palatability.

We meet a food or eating cue.

This is where our desires meets food. If our desire is greater than our rules and will to resist, eating will occur.

This is based on our ability to taste, and our desire to consume more after tasting, priming, or just a cue. But this is a individual sense, and the desire that sense creates. I knew a fellow who did not like ice cream, another who, even the smell of chocolate, would react in a negative fashion. They were both normal (BMI < 25 likely 20ish). Is it our ability to taste and then to desire that causes the problem?

There are spaces between the cue - - priming - - thinking - - desire - - and eating. Within these spaces is our ability to react, our ability to walk away, our ability to not consume hyperpalatable foods. Food chemistry may be in control, and it is just food chemistry.

We then produce or consume a {pick one or more} { dopamine, serotonin, endorphin, opioid, stimulus, relaxant}, we like it and want more, or not, and if available, we may go into the loop - feed back cycle, hypereating---, call it what ever. Conditioned hypereating, learned overeating pattern, compulsive overeating, but my problem is more of obsession that compulsion.

Where in the cycle gets started gives us the various disorders. Oh well, that is just my thoughts.

Spiritual / philosophical development is one answer, development of tranquility. Is there a quicker answer? The public want the quick solution, perhaps a spray to kill the taste buds.

Friday, November 1, 2013

Understanding Overeating

OA's invitation to you says the cause is not important. That is crap. It is crucial to long term recovery. But not if you are a compulsive overeater. If you happen to be a food addict(chemical), obsession driven person with a food fixation, someone with a eating disorder, and emotional eater (stress, anxiety, boredom), a conditioned hypereater, or any of the myriad of other defined overeating conditions, or some combination, is OA for you?

Many of these conditions require some kind of community, to socialize in, that partly understands overeating to some extent, for recovery. OA can be such a place, but occasionally you (I) will find an individual who is insistent on the general and non understanding found in much of the literature. By non understanding I mean the attitude that OA as it stands is right, and science has not progressed in fifty years. We know this may be wrong, but it is the attitude of many of those in OA.

Perhaps it is time to start a fraternity of the obese and exobese that does not have the high washout rate of OA, and actually treats the real problem. The washout rate includes those who come for a look, but never stick around long enough to figure out the program, and what it has to offer. Many do not get any benefit, but then there are those who come for years, and never get much benefit also.

Or it it all just a issue with food chemistry?

Our first priority must be our own recovery, and then our maintenance, and then carrying the message, after we have received the benefits of the message.

The objective of this fraternity would need to be similar to that of OA but less dogmatic, less cultie, less clickie, more science, less religion, more understanding, and less about promise of a lifetime of meetings, and more about real recovery.

This is a open call to see if anyone else is interested in such an adventure. If you are, please respond. Just click on the "comment"s below and lets get a discussion going.

I am thinking that the first step should be a "book of tools: definitions, explanations of terms, ideas, concepts, descriptions, and solutions we have tried for each "what we have learned". "  I am not sure where it should go, but we need to start where we all are.