Sunday, September 30, 2012

Plan of eating

In OA there is a plan of eating as a tool. It reads as follows:

As a tool, a plan of eating helps us to abstain from eating compulsively. Having a personal plan of eating guides us in our dietary decisions, as well as defines what, when, how, where and why we eat. It is our experience that sharing this plan with a sponsor or another OA member is important.

There are no specific requirements for a plan of eating; OA does not endorse or recommend any specific plan of eating, nor does it exclude the personal use of one. (See the pamphlets Dignity of Choice and A Plan of Eating for more information.) For specific dietary or nutritional guidance, OA suggests consulting a qualified health care professional, such as a physician or dietician. Each of us develops a personal plan of eating based on an honest appraisal of his or her own past experience; we also have come to identify our current individual needs, as well as those things which we should avoid.

Although individual plans of eating are as varied as our members, most OA members agree that some plan — no matter how flexible or structured — is necessary.

Yah sure...

I hold rigidly to the belief that there are chemical in the food that is driving this desire to eat. In addition; for some of us, there is a compulsion or obsession

We first must eliminate the chemicals, then address the compulsion. Just for today philosophy, will work to get us started. I just need to to this today. Eat only fresh fatty meat, eggs, fish, cooked, and green vegetable, leaves, stems, chuted, limit roots to non white, with oils; olive, coconut, gee, cold pressed first run canola; only for about two weeks, will get us clear of the chemicals. No sugar, wheat, grains, processed foods, "vegetable" oils, butter, cheese, milk, rice, corn, beans.

Until we do this test, we will be unable to separate compulsion and chemical. Just for today, each morning, commit to the test, for it is for education of your body, and your learning. After each of three or four meals each day, a large glass of water and a ten minute walk, to provide separation from the food eating place. We do not need to do this for long, and just for today, is the only commitment.

Note your hunger, and record what you ate and how much. Weight should be recorded every AM, and after ten days, start a 10 day running average, which will become your "official" weight. You (we) need to eat clean for about 14 days straight. If we slip, oh well, back on the program, but you need about 14 days clean. Are the cravings and hunger less? Has any thing else changed?  Less GERD, IBS, Blood pressure, blood glucose issues? 

Are you clear of the chemicals? Do you feel the difference? Do not starve yourself. If after 14 clean days, you feel the same as before, we will talk more. It took me about a month to get the first 14 clean, but after 3 days, it became much easier. 

Friday, September 28, 2012

Too what lengths

Too what lengths am I willing to go to recover? Just for the exercise, this time, I used the other to.

For some of us to get on the program we give up something that was important to us, for other we just need to be willing to give up important thing, places, people in out lives. It may be necessary for some of us to step back from family who are pushing us into the disease or what ever this condition really is. We may not be able to spend time with people displaying the symptoms of compulsive eating, whether they are or not is not the question. We need to make the decisions that are right for us, not right for others. They will just need to live with our decisions. There are control freaks out there, and some of us are (may be) dependent, but it is life or a slow painful death. Your choice.

To what lengths

To what lengths will I go to have this blood obsession arrested, one day at a time, for today?  Am I willing to record all caloric inputs, including quantity? Am I willing to do 10,000 steps? Am I willing to go to meetings regularly? Do service work, whether anyone wants the service or not?  Do service until service becomes the obsession, or at least thinking of others becomes the obsession? Not yet? More willingness required?

I am a compulsive person, so the compulsion can become recording and doing 10 thousand a day (pick a number).

Service work can become an alternate obsession to overeating. My mother would do anything for anyone other than here family. She "kept in touch" with extended family, but mostly lost touch with here children. Such was her opportunity cost of her obsession. I am not suggesting that we get that into service, but the possibility is there.

These blogs (4) are my current mild obsession now. But these are not strong enough to displace the food obsession yet, always.

Food addiction


One of the key functions of the neurotransmitter dopamine is to create feelings of pleasure that our brains associate with necessary physiological actions like eating and procreating. (gives us motivation to do it again) We are driven to perform these vital functions because our brains are conditioned to expect the dopamine rush that accompanies them.

Addictive drugs flood the brain with dopamine and condition us to expect artificially high levels of the neurotransmitter. Over time, the user's brain requires more dopamine than it can naturally produce, and it becomes dependent on the drug, which never actually satisfies the need it has created.

Changing Ourselves

As we go through the process of changing ourselves, primarily in a effort to be able to maintain a normal weight, other things change along the way. We have no control over what will change. It will happen suddenly, but what will happen and when is unknown.

The first change that must occur is the process of learning, to take the time necessary to learn little bits, and then keep coming back. Perseverance. It will take time. We need to develop patience. We need to develop an inner peace.

We need to learn that we can only change ourselves and then only sometimes, and not in a predictable fashion. We can change the way we react to the world, and this is where much success lies. We cannot change the world around us much. We can change our exposure to the world around us, but what do we want to become? Isolated. Recluse. Do we want to drive those around us away? Or the life of the party? It is our individual choice.

It take determination, commitment, courage, compassion, perseverance, gentleness, consistency, and responsibility to change ourselves in a big way. We need to consider long and hard before we make major changes, for once these start, we may be changes forever.

The serenity prayer does a nice summary of all this. 


Change of any kind requires willingness to change. We go through about 5 stages, precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, and maintenance. There should also be a feed back loop to modify the final state to a more favourable state, but that tends to allow creep back to the original issue.

Willingness to change is a state of mind, in fact, the first three are mainly in our head. Until we get to action, it is all in our heads. That is my problem, I think about it and am not strong on the actual doing. Just do it.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Drop out rate

In several places, I have noted comments about the OA drop Out Rate. I maintain that, before you can drop out, you need to be on the program. We have many visitors, perhaps they buy a book, and go away. These people have never been in the program, so they are not part of the drop outs. I think that our actual drop out rate is low. There are many that come in, work the program, and leave. Stop practising sure. But the program is ongoing, no graduation, they never go that part of the program, so they never got onto the program, so they cannot drop out. Visitors come and go, sure, but if you are on the program, it is a life commitment. End of.

For those of us who define god as good orderly direction, how can we drop out? We can stop attending meetings, but since we do not do "exit interviews", what do we really know.

What has god done for you today?

a twist again

A Buddhist’s Non-Theist 12 Steps:

1. We admitted our addictive craving over alcohol, and recognized its consequences in our lives.
2. Came to believe that a power other than self could restore us to wholeness.
3. Made a decision to go for refuge to this other power as we understood it.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to ourselves and another human being the exact moral nature of our past.
6. Became entirely ready to work at transforming ourselves.
7. With the assistance of others and our own firm resolve, we transformed unskillful aspects of ourselves and cultivated positive ones.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed.
9. Made direct amends to such people where possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. In addition, made a conscientious effort to forgive all those who harmed us.
10. Continue to maintain awareness of our actions and motives, and when we acted unskillfully promptly admitted it.
11. Engaged through the practice of meditation to improve our conscious contact with our true selves, and seeking that beyond self. Also used prayer as a means to cultivate positive attitudes and states of mind.
12. Having gained spiritual insight as a result of these steps, we practice these principles in all areas of our lives, and make this message available to others in need of recovery.

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Why do I blog?

On the way home after the meeting today, I asked myself why I keep going, and why I blog. The answer came. Someone needs to stand up and screen at those government twits and other assorted deaf  dumb, and blind, it is those exorphins that I now find out are being added to food because they cause an increase in consumption. Yah, yah, being added.

Get this now. Get exorphins out of our (your) diet, and the craving to eat goes away, or greatly reduces.

Banexorphin ... sounds like an organization dedicated to the removal of exorphin from the human food chain. 

Saturday, September 22, 2012

is food addiction real?

Is food addiction real? Certainly, there is something like food addiction, and it goes away in about three days after we give up all those foods that we are "addicted" to. But some of those foods are hard to define, and I have struggled years, either unwilling to accept or not identifying the foods, partly due to believing some of the diet advice.

But once I identified and accepted that I could not consume specific foods, the hunger went away. So why am I now still doing the OA thing? Well, I recognize, that what I see as the solution may not last, and then there is the social aspects of the program. But the message I want to carry is one of abandon all exorphins and acellular carbohydrates, and learn what those are and what it is all about.

Or is all just chemical


Exo ( exogenous ) + endorphins ( endogenous moprphins ):
exorphins are the brain's opiates that's found in food, outside the body -- mainly in gluten-rich wheat and dairy-products. They contain opioid peptides-influencing endorphin-receptors. These peptides are physically addictive, causing dependence, asthma, obesity, apathy, ignorance and numbness. 
'Zombie food', is food high in exorphins that are responisble for food addiction and compulsive eating.

Friday, September 21, 2012

To OA or not to OA

I am struggling with the question. It seams that this whole food issue may be just chemical. Once we realize that, and stop ingesting those exorphins and acellular carbohydrates, what becomes the point?

There is a social component to the program, and a attitude adjustment component, and a gratitude, carry the message component, but the OA program does not allow us to express a clear statement as to the actual cause of the problem. Now what, when I want to screen, it is those damn exorphins. Stop ingesting them, and the problem reduces to a just do it every day situation.

At this time, I have concluded that the compulsion to eat that I feel is largely the result ingestion of exorphins. Duh. Now, where do I go from hear?  

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Chemical or Psycological

Are addiction / cravings / compulsions chemical or psychological? A few days ago, I thought they were both. Today I am not sure. Butter at nearly every meal. LCHF things butter is an ideal fat. And the "compulsion" to eat was always there. When there was no butter, during my weight loss phase, the compulsions were much less. Now the concept of butter addiction has come to my mind, and early results indicate butter may be the driving force behind the cravings/compulsions.

I will test myself for a while with no butter, and see if there is a difference.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Atheist Faith

Today, on step two, something came clear to me. As an atheist, I believe in good orderly direction to govern my life. Prayer is more like a mediation, not a blank mind, but to the breath, and then to the problem of the hour, when I loose concentration, back to the breath and then to the problem. But I degress

Faith is my topic, and as I am a compulsive person, today, now, the compulsion is on recovery. What the next hour will bring is something else. Back to what does faith mean to a atheist. Faithful means to keep on following a principal, without wavering. Much as I committed to be "faithful" to wifee, I now make a commitment to not consume sugar, grains, manufactured editable products and omega 6 rich oils.

The next level of commitment, which I struggle with is a commitment to three moderate meals per day.   I am a compulsive person, without a doubt. Some of the time, I am compulsive working or doing something. All or very little, full speed or idle, just like a small outboard motor. Chicken or feathers.

A spiritual awaking is a personality change sufficient to bring about an end to the problem. It may be just a recognition of the problem and a work around the problem, not necessarily a removal of the problem.

I have a compulsion to deal with along with all the other shit. Oh well, life goes on.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012


When did we, the human population decide that it was wrong to be hungry?

Have we always thought it, or is this just a recent development?

Being slightly hungry before ever meal would mean about the right intake of food. That can be learned, and become normal to be hungry for a while before eating.

Monday, September 10, 2012

No God, just good orderly direction

Comment to Jess in my mind:

Your search is just beginning in the right direction. Many more concepts yet to come. Your title from a few days ago really applies ("Oh, The Places You’ll Go!").  Note that religions are not logical and many do not even understand there own history.

Places you will go Burning Man 

Sorry, but I may get preachy.

Religion had purpose when the average life span was short. It was a quick way of teaching right from wrong, to get the young started out right, when the elders knew they were not likely to be around long. All that has changed. Now we need to understand the cause, the why, and much more. Our world has changed so dramatically. When I left high school, the job I have done for the last 30 years did not exist in this area. Now it is essentially being replaced by the computer programs.

Fueling our brains is critical. We humans are a two fuel organism, glucose from carbohydrates or keytones from fat. We can make the little bit of glucose we need from proteins. My brain on keytones works so much better, clear, and no cravings. The compulsion is still there, but the cravings are gone. For a frequent dose of food education, I suggest Jimmy Moore's contacts although some of them are questionable, there is a lot of information mixed in.  Volek and Phinney are worth a listen. So is Tarman. is also good information but foodie. So much good information and so much crap about food on the net. Ketonic diet is the key for me.

On the spiritual side, I read Buddhism, for a while and mediated in several different styles for a bit. Micheal Browns, the presence process clarified all that. It is process. Eckhart Tolle, Now, and clarified much of my current beliefs, which I expect to keep changing.

The world remains 3/4 nuts, and the dysfunctional remain dysfunctional. Government looks out for government, and the economy, big business, and the medical community, not the people. We are on our own, to find our own way any way we can. Government is losing control now, thanks to the internet. The information gatekeepers are being bypassed. We are on the leading edge of the next revolution where people are free to think, write and explore new ideas, but we still need to make a living.

Tolle, in one of his youtube things, states that he thinks the there is a new level of evolution coming, a new awareness. I thing it has always been here, but only with time and awareness, and the willingness to explore spirituality-concepts-ideas-philosophy-personality, the non real world, but the mind drives the real world, so this is the part that drives the real world, drive us.

I think studying and writing about these spiritual concepts, at a human level, is a wonderful pursuit. Too many of the current authors start "down the rabbit hole" and get lost in their accumulation of knowledge, to be effective for those just starting the search. "Ah, but the things we will see", so glorious and grotesque, the wonders and frights, real and surreal, imaginary and physical.  I digress.

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Sin and Butter

The concept of sin is a religious concept, in my mind, part of that "comes with" stuff of our culture. It is really a emotionally loaded "handle" for being wrong, but this is my first time through life, so I need to do wrongs, and be able to see the effect, to know it is wrong. Being told it is wrong is just not the same, and if it is minor transgression, is it still wrong in this case. So I just consider sin a religious concept, not a valued one but an outdated one.

Buddha had a better idea, if you find it to be wrong on reflection, deist, and do right, and live up to that new principal, or something like that.

Butter is not pure fat, it contain casein, a protein, that is highly insulinogentic, hence drives fat storage. High insulin is a major issues   as insulin is the primary storage hormone, as in Volek's xy=c curve, x being fat release rate, y the blood insulin concentration.
The physiological part of this disease is real and chemical, biological, but not well accepted nor understood by many. The psychological part, the cravings, the compulsion, the cause of the desire to eat, not so much. We try to describe it as addiction, but that is chemical. We try to overcome it with Schwarts/ or OA, but that too is less than perfect. The best is that we keep trying to overcome it, persistence.

Friday, September 7, 2012

Society's Horseshit got me thinking about stating in this blog what I really believe and feel.

In my case, I do not care what others believe; they can believe what ever crap they want. I do resent the time I wasted trying to understand their irrational beliefs and well as irrational english grammar. I resent being lead astray by organised religion, the do as I say, not do as I do, and by the media with there overstatements, and sensationalizing. Their credibility is zero now, in my mind. I resent the media and the advertising, especially food advertising.

The world is a power outside of me that will mow me down, and kill me off. Reality, fact, evolution of concepts, and the persistence of natural urges, I do believe.  I have a natural compulsive urge to eat. I did not ask for it, I do not want it, but I have it. Now I have to learn to live with it. The choice is to eat and die of obesity, as I have seen many die, or to follow a program of  food restriction. Those are the choices. A LCHF diet helps, but the urge to eat is still there. There is no escape that I have yet found.

Powerlessness is evident, faith in the schwartz and OA; Accepting reality, life contains sufferering, and that the suffering is caused by my desire to be free of the compulsive urge to eat, desire, delusion that I should be free of the urge, and aversion to the compulsive urge. There is much to distract (refocus) if I look at self improvement imposed through the OA steps or Buddha,s eight. But the compulsion remains.

The only relief comes through redirection of the compulsive urge to something less damaging, that I also enjoy.

I find it annoying that western society in general and western medicine denies the existence of compulsive urges to eat. And yet there it is.   

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Jess.. making me think

..."just that an overarching desire to not be faced with the vast void of “I Don’t Know” is daunting to the average human mind."

Not knowing is our natural state. This is my first time through life, so it is all new to me. Once I learned to accept that I don't know anything, I can make some guess on what "might happen" based on history. That is all we have.

Mental evolution, evolution of thoughts,concepts, ideas is an important concept that I need to get my mind around, along with being able to live with and in the unknown, and unknown-able. The world coming at me on a daily basis is a power greater than I.To those forces, I must bend, or be broken. I cannot force the world or my body to conform to my desires, wants, or will. I need to accept it will do what it wants. All I can do is to keep junk out of my body's reach, and give it only what it needs. The world is a power greater than I, as is organic chemistry, or hormone chemistry, or chemical addiction, or compulsive urges.

Each generation must learn the same lessons  and other things got me thinking, each generation must learn the same lessons, if nothing changes. If something changes, it is a new lesson, or a slightly different lesson.

We geotechnical engineers are now seeing the long term effects  changes in the building code from 1995 changes, but I digress. These are the same lessons from the 1962 building code, that stopped being a problem after changes were made. It make the problem clear though, we change, and something else comes up, and forces more change. Life is constant change, and we need to recognise and adapt to the new changes.

Monday, September 3, 2012

Wrong vs Right thinking

Perhaps it is step 3 that splits the chaff from the grain, just as the fan does, after the grain and chaff are split off by the straw walkers. Those who know will understand.

Made a decision to provide ourselves with other viable choices of activities, rather than eating, may one of the keys. This is the decision to refocus, in the Schwartz, that provides the answer. Look, there goes a gray feral cat! Just a touch of ADD. Oh well, life continues.

The program gives us other things to focus on, calling others, writing, reading literature, and those other tools. But is it something that we can maintain, year after year, one day at a time, or does it just become a boring grind, just as school and university became. Head down, nose to the wheel, just do it, for today. George Buxton got me through NAIT with "just for today" philosophy, because it works, short term, to get through those tough spots. After all, AA built a whole organization on that idea. But for long term life, it does not do so well. There must be enjoyment, else, soon, it will be to much.

Few can live with continual hunger, so we must find a food program that deals with our hunger. Likewise, we need to find a way of thinking that diverts that compulsion urge, from food to something else, hopefully beneficial, at least not detrimental. There is a fellow who has set out to do 15 million steps, but without a end date. With 10,000 per day as recommended by the Alberta Gouverment (spelling intended), it would take less than 5 years. A book also, I think. I suggest a title..."What I learned 15 million steps", (about food), joint the 200000 other "diet" books, and 200000 self improvement books in a time when the young are reading less, and great choices...

There is a need for practical basic information, solutions to the daily questions that we face in life, in a practical cook-book style, with explanation of why they work, and what the parts do, but that is for another day.