Sunday, February 26, 2012

Step 0

In AA step Zero is put the plug in the jug. In OA, we cannot eat our addiction foods. We must first give then up. We must become willing to give them up.

Eating is driven forward in a series of addiction feed back loops. First is sugar and carbohydrates that become sugar. Insulin response is the driver that shunts glucose into fat cells and locks it there until we have been hungry for an hour or two. Then we start drawing on fat. We need good long stretches of hunger to start drawing from fat until we give up most carbohydrates, and start to burn fat, and then hunger is not frequent until we get to a reasonable weight. Once we cut the carbohydrates and start to burn fat, we can see the leptin. Now we have quit feeding the insulin feedback cycle. 

Now it is time to move onto the opioid feed back loop. This one is from the ingestion of opioids, and products that become opioids. Opioids are peptides, protein fragments, part of the digestive process. The main sources of the proteins that break into opiods and glutin and gladin, found in wheat, and casins found in dairy products.

To find out what is driving you, I suggest the Maffetone two week test, and then add back one at a time. Anything you cannot give up, you are addicted to it, that simple.

Next Dopamine and Serotonin.

Sunday, February 19, 2012


Humans developed as animals first, then became more intelligent, developed technology, specialization, and all the great things we are today. With specialization comes ignoring earlier knowledge to make room for learning current knowledge. Was weight control one of those areas that was forgotten?

We are not our minds, and our minds are not us. Our intelligence does not control us, only influences our choices. Ego is a construct of the thinking mind, often for our protection. Ego exists both positively and negatively, it makes us better than our fellows and less than, but either way it is a function of the thinking mind, and can be modified to closer to what it should be rather than allowed to run free. We can do this by watching the arising of emotions, thoughts, cravings, and the like, before we react to the situation.

The forgoing is the reason that meditation works, but it does slow down the thought process. Notice that most mediators think and speak slower. It takes time to watch, filter, evaluate before we do something. Note that in the Buddhist tradition, speech must be true and beneficial before it is spoken. That sure cuts out a great deal of garbage. 

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Developing Spirtality

The OA program is a spiritual program, what ever that means. Spirituality can partly defined by what it is not, that is to say it is not physical, not emotional-well perhaps, not intellectual- well partly, not social- well maybe a bit. It is a belief in the unseen, in the unknown things that may or may not exist.

Well these items, concepts, must be reviewed, and we can decide what we believe. How is this going to help me follow a diet. Well, if I learn something in me is not true, it is a single item, or concept that can be corrected, and perhaps that is the cognitive dissonance that is give me an issue.

The Power of Now is such a book, to bring up the subjects, and then you can decide what you believe. Remember, that even a stopped clock is right twice a day. That is to say there is a lot of Ca-ca in this book, but some gems.

First, we are animals, and some of us have developed a bit of intelligence. Ego is a construct of the mind. Much of the grief, suffering goes away when we live and think in real time. Watching our mind, emotions, and feeling before we respond, makes us better people. Accepting reality is the first step in serenity. It stops short of offering a solution as does Buddhism. Much to think about. Psychological time, OK, it is a name for the other states of time we find ourselves living in. Has it made a difference? I do not know. Two or three cups of greens at each meal may also be making a difference.

Semi-retirement is a time for reevaluation. I need to drift toward doing things I like doing, and that do not put too much stress on the body. What will the next stage look like? What is it that I want to do?

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Second Paragraph of Our Invitation to You

We have found the reasons unimportant... I have difficulty with.

Remove the reason and the problem becomes so much easier to deal with. In fact, remove all of causes, and the problem will dry up and blow away. No problem, no program. If I could find all the causes, or the remaining causes, I would not be around the program.

I have found some of the causes of my problems. I have found a bunch of causes, and removing the cause, each one, made following the program, giving up the offending food, or concept, or activity, changing my behavior much easier. I have not figured out how to deal with several problems, one an obsession of the compulsive mind, and secondly a sight driven appetite, likely a cephalic phase insulin overshot, the ever present food marketing pressures, and imprinted reaction to stress/free time. In addition, there is the emotional, intellectual, and physical desire for tasty foods that I did enjoy. For these reasons, I hang around the program.

Given up carbohydrates beat the glucose driven post postprandial insulin overshot. Cutting way back of fructose reduced the fructose - alcohol like addiction that I suffer from. Cutting out wheat relieved the opioid driven dopamine blocking issue, add a few nuts as well with those cross linked amino acids starting with G. Cutting out the other grains, rice, over-cooked potatoes removed the serotonin flushed from the gut, to the brain rush. Getting rid of sugars in all forms reduced the dopamine rushes. Keeping the meals small, and low in omega 6, helps with the insulin displacement of leptin, and leptin shortage.

After all that I have learned about food, the frauds, deceit, and outright lying in the food industry, the money grubbing base of the medical industry, I have come to a Paleoish diet, but I still have a few issues. In addiction, food addiction is a slipper place, the craving strong, and easy to mess up with. Obsessive compulsive mind is a separate issue from food addiction, and require separate information. Addictive food must be avoided completely.

Having said all that, we should not be looking for a spiritual solution to a nutrition problem, nor a nutrition solution for a psychological problem. We need to know the actual problem for a lasting solution. 

Monday, February 13, 2012

OA +

Is there room for a OA plus movement?

I am an atheist, and think science, reason, and the like can take the place of god. It has worked fairly well, but needs a bit of work.

The problem is not loss of weight, but ending overeating, with the increased food pressure that I see. I do OK as long as I do not go near TV or around food, but I  drool in food stores, just like a wet mouthed dog. It is a bitch. Visual eating cues are bad. The program is of no help for this physiological/mental problem, but it does help to not act on the urge/compulsion/physical reaction. Avoiding food is the only choice for that issue that I have found.

In the BB pg 186, B&B ask there questions, after they discuss the problem, Do you want to quit, can you without help, and do you believe in god, looking for a yes-no-yes response, but what of those of us with a yes-no-no response?

Friday, February 10, 2012

The Cause brings up the topic.

Issues in our life, as children and as adults, cause us suffering, which in turn cause a feeling inadequacy, if only we had more, could do more, to be more, which is never enough. The desire causing cravings, a need for more, something to fill the desire for more, and we try to fill it with more food. It works for a bit, as it pushes dopamine, serotonin and opoiods to the brain, but we need more, as the tolerance builds.

The solution is recognizing the suffering, and the desire for a solution to the suffering. The typical craving results from a desire to remove the suffering, and the solution is accepting, letting go of the desire for more. Remove the suffering by identification of the cause; a desire to please others, a need to please others, or what ever is driving us.

This all works through implied memories and imprinted reaction, developed in a immature mind, that no longer work, if they ever did.

First we need to give up the substances, fructose, excessive glucose, alcohol, what ever, then turn to the present time, via mediation or similar process, and learn to be our own light, cutting of those feeling of not enough before they become a craving. No is a complete sentence.

Next, mediation is the quickest way to the cause that I have found, and through mindfulness, we are able to trace back the through the craving, the need for a solution of suffering, to the root cause, a feeling of inadequacy we developed as a child.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Apathy - an illustration

I have been lethargic, apathetic, low energy, ambivalent, no ambition for some time now, and am looking for something to pick me up. Not mentally depressed, but no desire to do much. Not unwilling to do some thing, but unwilling to much, physically, or work wise. I have never experienced this before, but have been depressed in the past. It is a strange disinterested state, strange to me anyway. My get up and go got up and left. 

Now how to get out of this low energy state. Any ideas. Yah, go to a meeting. OK.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Time Meditation

I am here now in this.

Time can be divided into five states:

  1. future with potential anxieties and unknown, with chaos, some intention 
  2. a compressed time state, rushing to get something done, planning time, decision making, with anxiety
  3. present state, mindfulness, concentration, attention where we can be serene, speech, actions, livelihood should occur
  4. in never-never land, TV watching, escapism, fiction time
  5. the past, unsatisfactory past with guilt, where knowledge resides   

We are not responsible for the quality of our human experience. My childhood was poor, rough, oppressive. The imprint is there. Now I need to respond, not in kind. 

For serenity, I need to live in present time mostly. Draw from the past knowledge, and have a plan for the future, but live in the present. Come to know my emotional imprinted reactions, but respond, not react. Express the emotions at some point. 

The Government is an ass. RCMP are just tax collectors, revenuers. No respect due there. Just self preservation fear, as toward Boss Hog, avoid them as much as possible.  

We are not responsible for the quality of our human experience in our youth. My childhood was poor, rough, oppressive. Talking was disallowed.  My older sister was brutal. Child labor was parental enforced. The physical damage scars are there.  The imprint is there, in my psyche, emotions, and memory. Now I need to respond, not in kind, but as a rational person of age and communications, to over come the shit. I know it was not right, in my spirit, I knew as a teenager, but I only now learned how to clean the wreckage of the past. A bit dyslexic too, possible a touch of ADD, and not much concern about correctness of English, or of what other think of me. It is what I known of me that is important today. 

A Correct Rant

and from William Davis

So, yes, modern food mistakes are about such issues as overconsumption of sucrose, overexposure to fructose, food colorings and preservatives, and relative macronutrient intake (e.g., excessive carbohydrate intake). But it’s also about the substantial changes introduced into food crops like wheat, corn, and soy, that have not been examined–because the questions were never asked.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Changing Ourselves

As we go through the process of changing ourselves, primarily in a effort to be able to maintain a normal weight, other things change along the way. We have no control over what will change. It will happen suddenly, but what will happen and when is unknown.

The first change that must occur is the process of learning, to take the time necessary to learn little bits, and then keep coming back. Perseverance. It will take time. We need to develop patience. We need to develop an inner peace.

We need to learn that we can only change ourselves and then only sometimes, and not in a predictable fashion. We can change the way we react to the world, and this is where much success lies. We cannot change the world around us much. We can change our exposure to the world around us, but what do we want to become? Isolated. Recluse. Do we want to drive those around us away? Or the life of the party? It is our individual choice.

It take determination, commitment, courage, compassion, perseverance, gentleness, consistency, and responsibility to change ourselves in a big way. We need to consider long and hard before we make major changes, for once these start, we may be changes forever.

The serenity prayer does a nice summary of all this.  

Monday, February 6, 2012


Is overeating a coping mechanism?

We must, in life, learn to coping with many circumstances that we found unsatisfactory, from the infant stage, through the child stage, through growing years, teen age, young adult, adult, working life, and into retirement. What if overeating is just a coping method that we have imposed on our authentic self?

Saturday night, in a one hour period (7.15 to 8.15), there 12 food commercials. Last post I estimated 3 per hour. TV must become a selected programs only item, not the default evening activity. The default may be a intellectual undertaking to find the true essence of self, the authentic self, before I learned any coping skills.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Television - Diet Impact?

Does TV have a impact on my food intake?

Imprinted reaction: To eat when food is presented.


TV presents food representations perhaps 3 time per hour.

Implied memory and recall memory: Do what you are told.
Imprinted reaction: Do as you are told; Cooperative, following personality some of the time, (except when the "idiot" is majorly wrong),


So remove the TV form my life as a test. When I did the 5 meetings per weak, I lost weight. Yellowknife, without TV, I lost weight, as on the Gull Diversion Project, Ketza Project, Cone Undertaking, and other time. I see a connection. Now I just need to do it.

also around the web;

Sharma at  notes

Components of successful CBT for obesity treatment include:
1) identifying readiness for change and goodness of fit between patient and treatment, 
2) self-monitoring by tracking weight and food behaviours, 
3) cognitive restructuring via challenging maladaptive cognitions and 
4) problem solving by developing system of alternate food behaviours.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

So What is God?

In the OA program, I need a clear concept of god. God is a concept, to start with; hence, has no form, no sex, can do nothing. I includes all things outside of my self and in myself, of which I have no control over, do not now about, and all knowledge, of which I know a bit, and some of that is wrong. The concept has all power, so anything that happens is beyond me. I can be just an observer of the goings on.

Note that this part is to dispose of stresses; the typical causes of stress can be grouped as;

  1. uncertainty 
  2. the lack of information
  3. the loss of control
  4. helplessness, it is beyond our control 
God, therefore, must embody all knowledge, of which each person carries some. The issue is finding the information, sorting the right from wrong, and not claiming the nonexistent cannot exist. We can only know, we cannot prove that which we do not know does not exist.

Of course control is really only influence, it is not absolute. It is impermanent, ever changing.

Gods people, (the ground crew) must be willing to admit that they do not know (this leaves out churches, and moors, etc.), and must be free and able to say no to any request.   

I have suffered loss of faith, loss of direction, and loss of passion. It is time to explore this as well. I have faith in myself, in my abilities, even thought these are reducing, in activities, in progress(even if the damn government hampers it), and that this will all end. Life is just a process. 

I have faith that I will die. That I must accept, and try to improve on that. Do what I can to live longer, and better, and pass on something to the next generation of the public. Do something before death or not: it does not matter. Few are remembered beyond the lives of those we touched. Live life with commitment, consistency, compassion, and responsibility for myself. Compassion for myself includes doing what is necessary for my own well-being, not folding to the desires and needs of others.

We must be free to express our emotions somewhere, else they fester and we become unhealthy. Look out world, you are about to get a dump of stuff. I must give up past unsatisfactory acts and future anxieties, and live in the present.     

Harper is a bastard for even thinking of cutting the starting age of old age security.  He has betrayed the people nearing retirement. The only hope is the Green. Run the prostitutes out of Ottawa.